Tough Love or Truth-

You know, sometimes the truth hurts, the truth can be so ugly that it can almost make you wish for blindness. This lesson has come so hard to me in the last week that I am completely sick. Addiction is ugly. Addiction is harmful. I have listened to the lies of an addict, I have seen things and thought I could help and had I been much tougher, a situation that has changed my life, my childs life, and other memebers of my family's life, forever, one child has been taken, another child has been so damaged right under the nose of an addict liar that statistically he will never be right, and with the lies and the addiction I cannot help but have my doubts.I started smoking because I was a selfish bratty teenager, I have been hooked on other things because I am selfish and I have lied because of addiction and addiction makes me an ugly person, that is in my past, I have done a lot of work on myself since I came to this board 4 years ago. I have hurt others because of addictions so let me just ask you all. If I ever relapse, which I won't, tell me what I am.......I am a selfish addict, becasue the only way to not be an addict is to stop doing what you are doing.So.....if you want to lie to yourself, lie to your family, say "hey, it is only smoking,quit smoking, I am better than say a heroin addict or a raging alcoholic" then go ahead and try that. See how it works for you. This post is not directed at any single member on this board, this post is because I have been here a long time, I have been through a lot in the last couple of years and not once did I justify smoking cigarettes with the many horrible events that have just floored me this year. Quitting smoking also made me realize how I deal with things and it is not pretty, but I am not asking one soul in my life to candy coat it either. I am actually so lucky that when I even say "I feel guilty about this or that" all I get love and praise for the growth that I have. I have parents who loved me, sent me to college, then later gave me some of my college fund because they did not spend it all. I have a wonderful husband who when I felt like an idiot for believing the lies of another,Herbal cigarettes, knowing what an addict will do, called me a shephard. I have had the same best friend for 28 years. I have two healthy children, smart children. I even from this board have a therapist in training willing to take on this very difficult case and give me some sound advice becasue the people around me love me so much they are not objective. I love them too.So, do I have a point? Yes. If you relapse, and you want my advice, then PM me, because I ain't falling for your lies, your lame excuses, or any more bull regarding addiction. I am going to pull this post up every time I see a relapse thread because this is the Truth. Harsh or Not it is the truth. There is no good reason and if you smoke, you should feel guilty, if you relapse and hop on here and have a big HooHa party over it then don't expect me to like you, I don't have to, count yourself lucky that I give a damn enough to come here and watch this over and over and over and try to help when so few of us in reality will make it.Like I said the truth hurts, but when we let addicts abuse us, and by us I mean, everyone on this board giving help and understanding and trying to recover, and letting them tell you, you are wrong, or call you arrogant when we tell them the TRUTH......then we are no longer effective. I know how hard it is, if you can't see that then again, look at how self centered that is...It is not harder for one member of this board than it is another, we have all cried and suffered to quit.Steph