S.O.S - Feel like I'm going to cave

Hiy,quit smoking now,Knowing how I've felt all the other times I've caved, I feel like I am right on the edge now. As usual it is during a period where tons of things are going on and I'm anxiety-ridden, and think that the cigarette will somehow make things better. I'm moving out for the first time, and today I was preparing the apartment just fantasizing about being able to walk to the corner store and buy a pack, and to be able to do whatever I want since I am living on my own. It's odd how independence to me is somehow associated with being a prisoner to nicotine. But anyways, I've been tempting myself by hanging around people smoking today, just about ready to ask them for one. I keep trying to justify that I'm young and can stop again sometime in the future, even though I don't ever want to go through that hell again. I've only had the patch off for a week or so now so that's probably why I'm extra edge, but this is a big transition period for me in all things, and that makes me want to look for a crutch. I just don't know what to do anymore,smoking cessation, I'm so fed up with this mind torture I just want it to end forever.Don't know what else to say, thanks for any support.Brian