Still Aint Smokin

Oh my lord, momma has gone and shaved her head, If that don’t beat all .. What will that woman do next.. I am so proud of her being outta prison this long I just wish she wasn’t still on house arrest as part or her parole agreement.. The woman could drive a priest to murder and never mind a man to drink or smoke.How I have managed to not smoke so far in beyond me. Well I guess a lot of the reason is momma says if she see’s me smoking she’s gonna shove a pack of cigarettes right down my throat and beat the living s*** outta me. Don’t misunderstand this as ‘tuff love” she just knows I aint got no smokes and would have to steal one of hers to smoke it. That’s what they do to a smoke stealer on the B block.. And trust me buddy we live B block rules around this joint too.. Thou momma don’t like me calling her crib the joint.. Anyways I still aint smoking and that’s the point,, lots a times I find going for a walk helps, I can clear my mind and breath the fresh air it is wonderful. I like too being able to smell the stills cooking moon shine so I knows to stay clear of them.. One thing you don’t wanna do in these parts is walk into a mans moon shine operation. Why even some of them fellers are quit smoking cense there was that big explosion and four of’em got blown up.. Next day in the paper sure nuff it read “Smoking kills.”. Well That just did it for’em.. I thoughtBut come to find out it was cuz about 250 jugs of shine got blown up too and that was the real shame of it.. The ones that are quitting asked me for some advice , cuz I’m doing so good I told them it was easy as long as they didn’t smoke none and that just cause it was a corn cob pipe didn’t mean it was a good for’em anyways Remember I was tellen you before about my sisters pole dancing in the front of the trailer , the parlor they call it, anyways one of the twins Peggy sue is getting married to a shiner , I don’t know witch one of it is Peggy sue 1 or Peggy sue 2 and I don’t reckon he dose either, see momma named ‘emBoth the same name, cuz they looked just alike and on a chance they got mixed up she would still be callin by there right name. we tried for a long time to call one Peggy and the othern Sue, but hell that just got to be to much and they’d just lie to witchen they was anyhow. Hell I hope they just both move out And take that dam pole with‘em. 6 dollar cove r just to walk into your own house on a Friday.. Is just to much. Oh and lord god, don’t let me get started on the night momma got drunk and started strippen doing a pole dance.. Something a person should never see,, and that’d be one of‘em,, but I did get her razors for her birthday. And allot of’emAnd clippers too. Well now we know she has used the clippers on her headI wonder if she knows why I bought them for her.. I anit sayin and you’d better not either.. So I have had a few close calls and come close to loosing this quit I got going on but a lot of determination and will power keeps me going. I’m sure I’ll have more trying times but I keep going one day at a time.. Kinda like doing time.. Just put the x’s on the wall each night and go to sleep..But A kinda scary thing coming up is this big weekend we are sure to have a few big shing dings .BBQ’s lots of beer tons of people coming and going smoking and laughing just having a good old time. Momma getting drunk and show’en off her new hair do to all her boy friends, But I think just the guards are coming this weekend the bikers are a bit sore still over the last party and getting arrested And then on Sunday we are going to the cattle sale, they sell about everything there not just cows’s they gots sheep, pigs ducks and chickens even horses there too. One time we went and all these dum asses were beating this horse just layen there on the ground with a stick’s, they just keep beaten it and beaten it.. On of them , some smart fella say you reckon its dead? Another one says well we could shoot it,, maybe that would get it up, Na says another lets just beat it some more . We can always shoot it after if it still don’t get upWell What this has to do with smoking or not smoking is just beyond me I just got carried away,, Beating that dam dead horse didn’t make no cense either Or do anybody no good either,, bunch a dum asses.. Well back to not smoking being there at the cattle sale always makes you wanna smoke. One it helps with the smell and two it helps with the smell. And Im not just talking about the cows and such,, You ever been in a barn with about a hundred hillbilly‘s, Not all of us got running water in these parts,quit smoking now,, Reckon we only do cause are trailer is right below the creek. So we got water running by right near everyday. Another thing About that cattle sale you just can sell any old heifer there ,lord knows Ive tried selling my sisters a couple of times.. I even Put a add on Craig’s list .. For’em But Craig flagged it and pulled it down before I could get anybody to even reply.. I guess you cant call your add white trailer trash whores For sale,quit smoking,, well I guess I could just list them in the free section.. I don’t need the money.. I’m saving so much from not smoking,, Yea right,, and I got some nice land in Florida for sale too, would you like to buy it? Or perhaps a bridge in New York I have one of them for sale too But the main point of all This Is I am still not smoking,, And mamma aint back in jail…. YetFor the lazy TLDRMomma shaved her headNot smoking is a day at a time thingBeaten a dead horse dose nothingCant sell white trailer trash whors on Craig’s list Big party this weekendStill not smoking