Why why why--------

Why am I still stuggling like it was day 1?Why do I feel everyone here has some kind of key that I must not have on my ring?Why am I still biting peoples heads off like a damn shark?Why am I still mourning the loss of my first quit on 8/3...it is gone,quit smoking, I did it!Why,stop smoking now, when I watch the neighbor lady smoke outside her front door, do I still want to run over and snatch that sick stick out of her hands and drag on it till I feel better?Am I just one of the newbies that the seasoned quitters saw as a loser all along? Do I just not GET IT? What am I missing?